


Inflicting One's Affliction

by Valkyrien



Category: Mad Max Series (Movies)
Genre: Also No One Here Has Any Personal Boundaries, Always, Being Madly In Love Leads To Poor And Overly-Optimistic Decision-Making, Bowling Is Not Real It Is Merely An Invention Of Fanfic Writers To Facilitate Comedy, Capable And Nux Had The Best Possible Intentions And Only Themselves To Blame, Contact For Playlist Details, Dag Is Into That Though, Double Dates Are Always A Bad Idea, F/M, Slit Is A Metal-Head Both Literally And Sub-Culturally, This Fic Is Testament To My Inability Not To Shoehorn Judas Priest Into Everything If Possible, What To Expect When Your Closest Friends Are Insane And You Set Them Up Together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:21:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4498653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valkyrien/pseuds/Valkyrien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on this Mad Max Kinkmeme prompt:</p><p>'Capable and Nux, being the kind friends they are, decide to play matchmaker and bring Slit and the Dag along for a double date.<br/>Not a good decision on their part.</p><p>+1 if Dag and Slit fight like cats and dogs<br/>+1 Capable and Nux trying to keep the peace<br/>+1 Capable and Nux trying to still have a good time while Slit and Dag snipe at each other<br/>+my heart if the date turns on its head, and Nux and Capable's make out session in the backseat is interrupted by their weird friends headbanging to metal music in the front seat<br/>+my kingdom if Dag and Slit end up planning a second date</p><p>Really, just go wild with how bad the date goes.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt can be found here:
> 
> http://madmaxkink.dreamwidth.org/450.html?thread=1108674

 

 

 

   There is a special form of madness which is the affliction of any blissfully joined couple - namely that of wanting to spread the good fortune and happiness which they themselves share to those around them who are not similarly blessed.

 

    This madness typically takes the shape of the happy two attempting to set their friends up with their beloved's friends, in an exercise of poor judgment but good intentions designed to attempt to make everyone around them as happy as they are themselves by linking the people in their lives romantically until everyone they know is connected by love and harmony to everyone else whom they know.

 

    Predictably, this tends to end badly.

 

    In the case of Nux and Capable, however, the conditions seemed to be in their favour when this particular stroke of brilliantly poor decision-making came to them both one evening as they were rejoicing at how in love they were and how nice that was, and communicating this via a prolonged series of very deep kisses performed whilst in a reclining position.

 

    The only two people in their lives not romantically entangled and with no strongly negative feelings against becoming romantically entangled seemed, at face value, to be borderline compatible.

 

    In theory.

 

    So, in theory, Nux and Capable rationalised, it would be a safe bet to try setting them up with each other, in some gentle, unobtrusive way that placed no pressure on either party. Like a double date to some casual group activity.

 

    “We could go bowling! The four of us!” Capable enthused, one hand firmly planted on Nux' backside.

 

    “Sounds fun!” Nux agreed, because it did, and there was no reason not to agree with the delightful girl of his dreams who was groping him in such an entirely heartfelt manner.

 

     “It'll be great - Dag is so much fun,” Capable decided,

 

    “She's a little weird, but who isn't?”

 

    “No one we know,” Nux allowed, directly into the side of Capable's neck,

 

    “Definitely not Slit - but he's great anyway.”

 

    “They're bound to get on!” Capable sighed, wriggling further underneath Nux, and taking his answering groan for complete concurrence.

 

    The invitations were issued the very next day, for practical reasons, and worded subtly, casually, so as to avoid placing any lofty expectations on Dag and Slit to produce a romantic union as a result of this interference.

 

    The response was positive on both fronts, if not overwhelmingly so, but both Nux and Capable agreed that any kind of straight answer from their chosen two which was not outright refusal to have anything to do with the thing could be taken as very positive indeed.

 

    Looking back, in theory everything looked set to run fairly smoothly. Neither of them feel like they can blame themselves or each other for having made what is obviously, seen with current eyes, such a grave and hideous error in judgment.

 

    The evening began reasonably well. That is, the part of the evening that consisted entirely of Nux and Capable driving over to pick up Slit began reasonably well.

 

    Things began to go downhill only when they had to go and pick up Dag outside Angharad's new apartment across town because she'd been taking a guitar lesson from Coma.

 

    They pulled up, Capable got out to hug Dag, who hugged back, looked Slit over critically, and dryly said,

 

    “I think you could have told me he looks like that.”

 

    Capable was not faster than Slit's aggressively defensive snarl of,

 

    “Yeah? And what the fuck are you supposed to be, albino? Fuck you.”

 

    “No,” Dag said calmly, leaning in to grab a fistful of Slit's jacket and cold-cock him right in the face, stepping back out of range to finish,

 

    “Fuck you, sir.”

 

    Slit seemed to take this gamely enough, in the sense that he wiped his face carelessly and grinned through his sluggishly bleeding lip in a profoundly nasty way, rasping,

 

    “Mediocre. Try harder.”

 

    There was nothing for Capable to do but to exchange a shocked gaping expression with Nux and slink over to her own side of the car, weakly pointing out,

 

    “We should get going - you two can share the back...”

 

    It made no impression on Dag and Slit, beyond inspiring Dag to slide into the back so she could snipe at Slit as up close and personally as possible.

 

    The very short drive to the bowling alley was nothing but a volley of insults and Capable's hand twitching with every one from its position atop Nux's thigh, Nux wincing every time he was forced to look up into the rear view mirror, which very plainly told him that Slit and Dag were if not physically at each other's throats then certainly right up in each others' faces each letting the other know just exactly how badly they were going to get their shit kicked out of them at what was supposed to be a friendly bowling match meant to tickle their respective romantic palates.

 

    “Do something,” Nux said in an undertone to Capable, masked by Dag's derisive laughter at Slit's insistence that she would be eating her own bullshit when Slit shoved her face in how badly she was going to lose to him, and Capable met his panicked expression out of the corner of her eye with an identical one of her own, hissing,

 

    “Like what?”

 

    Turned out it was a good thing it was a short drive, because Capable's attempts to very transparently cut through the vicious competitiveness and vitriol between Dag and Slit by insisting in a high and overly cheery voice that it was just going to be fun and maybe they didn't even really need to do teams as such were completely destroyed by Dag's throaty, wild statement that,

 

    “Oh, we're having teams! Boys versus girls - and then we'll see who gets their ugly schlanger face rubbed in what!”

 

    And that was just the drive to the bowling alley.

 

    They have now been playing for an hour, and despite Capable drawing Dag aside right before they came in and pleading with her to stop antagonising Slit, and Nux drawing Slit aside and pleading with him to stop rising to it, their little group is drawing a lot of attention, because, well...

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

  
  
    “WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!” Dag shrieks, turning away from the perfect strike she piked right down the middle of the lane with both middle fingers sweeping right at Slit's face, shimmying impressively in the combat boots she death-glared the shoe-boy into letting her keep on because, to quote her,  
  
  
    _'Wearing strange shoes fucks with my soul-grounding. You want to fuck with that, kid? Mess you right up.'_  
  
  
    “That was, um, that was really great, Dag, way to go,” Nux calls, nerves shot to hell by now and edging a glance at Capable, who chimes in with overdone cheer,  
  
  
    “Yeah, Dag - great shot!”  
  
  
    “We're winning!” Dag crows at Capable, then whips her head round to sneer at Slit, who is pushing past her roughly to retrieve his own ball,  
  
  
    “Hear that, smeg-head? Beat that!”  
  
  
    “Piss OFF!” Slit snarls back, teeth bared and hackles way past raised, and Dag grins and dances out of the way, leaning in to practically lick her lips right up against the back of his neck while he's lining up his shot, taunting him in a coarse undertone,  
  
  
    “Eat shit, loser - there's no way you're catching up! Get ready to lick my boots.”  
  
  
    “I swear to God - ” Slit grinds out through his teeth, and Dag giggles hoarsely and steps back.  
  
  
    “Cry harder,” she suggests mockingly, and Capable takes a deep, steadying breath and pipes up,  
  
  
    “You're not that far behind, if you make this one, we'll be tied! You can do it, Slit!”  
  
  
    Dag just gives her a pitying look, and Nux shrugs helplessly when Capable turns to him in defeat and then tucks her under his arm for a morale-boosting cuddle.  
  
  
    “Let's not get dinner after this,” Capable whispers,  
  
  
    “Let's just finish this round, then get them both home and try and salvage whatever's left of our evening.”  
  
  
    “Yeah,” Nux sighs into her hair,  
  
  
    “I'll let Slit drive us back - keep him busy.”  
  
  
    “Is that safe if we sit in the back?” Capable asks, forehead pinched in concern, and Nux takes a second longer than he'd ideally prefer to be necessary to nod and reassure her.  
  
  
    “He wouldn't crash the car,” Nux insists, and Capable resettles against him in relief and pulls his free hand on to her hip.  
  
  
    “I trust you,” she whispers, kissing what parts of the side of his jaw that she can reach, and Nux leans down and -   
  
  
    “FUCK YES - TAKE THAT, YOU BLEACHED-OUT BITCH!”  
  
  
    Capable and Nux collide awkwardly as they each jump in different directions, surprised by the cacophony, and then pull away from each other sharply, rubbing their aching faces as Slit wheels on Dag triumphantly and fires off a whole round of increasingly obscene gestures.  
  
  
    Two rows over, a gaggle of what appear to be frat boys look terribly shocked.  
  
  
    “Take it and take it hard,” Slit cries exultantly, while Dag watches him with a look that suggests that if she were any more bored she would simply fall unconscious.  
  
  
    “Tuck it back in before you hurt yourself,” she cracks back, and Slit's eyes narrow.  
  
  
    “Too precious to play all of a sudden?” he sneers,  
  
  
    “Didn't hear you hold back any when you were running hot ahead on points - can't handle a little push-back?”  
  
  
    Dag collects all her splayed-ragdoll limbs and stretches up loosely to her full height, stares him right back down and cocks her hips.  
  
  
   “I can handle anything you got, ya little bastard, so stop waving your cock about or I fucking will,” she growls, and Capable scrambles off Nux' lap and dives between them with a nervous laugh, collecting her ball and then pushing back through them, having to force their chests apart.  
  
  
    “Mine's the last shot!” she trills, and Slit and Dag step away from each other to give her room, pointedly not looking at one another, and Nux calls,  
  
  
    “You can do it, Capable!”  
  
  
    Dag echoes a good-natured,  
  
  
    “Put 'em to bed, girl!”  
  
  
    Slit gallantly inclines his head Capable's way and encourages her to,  
  
  
    “Let's see it!”  
  
  
    Capable takes her turn.  
  
  
    The scoring board makes a deeply obnoxious sound, but it is nothing compared to the howl of elation that Dag emits about a yard from Slit's ear, making him stagger sideways and yell,  
  
  
    “FUCK! ARE YOU KIDDING ME, WHAT THE ACTUAL SHITTING CHRIST IS YOUR PROBLEM?!”  
  
  
    “Pissbaby,” Dag snipes, then takes a stride to join Nux in jumping up and down around Capable and hugging her this way and that.  
  
  
    “That was amazing, you were amazing!” Nux irradiates her, absolute adoration streaming from every fibre of him, and Capable loops one arm around him and the other around Dag and gives them both a kiss on the cheek, then steps into Nux' side and let's Dag go, looking to Slit, who shrugs and grins at her.  
  
  
    “Shiny as hell,” he agrees,  
  
  
    “Great job.”  
  
  
    “We both won, you know - she didn't do it on her own - so come on, admit it; I'm better than you!” Dag gloats, and Slit's grin disappears into thunderclouds as he snarls at her.  
  
  
    “Capable fucking carried your sorry arse the whole way and you know it - I'm not admitting anything!”  
  
  
    “We all played a really good game,” Nux tries, but it's useless and Capable strokes his cheek softly in commiseration as Slit and Dag go steel-toe to steel-toe.  
  
  
    “Admit you're a smeg-sucking lizard-brained piece of - ”  
  
  
    “ - better shut your fucking - ”  
  
  
    “Hey - HEY!” Capable and Nux peer past Dag and Slit at the frat boy whose raised voice funnelled through cupped hands was clearly meant as an address to their little group.  
  
  
    “Put a muzzle on your bitch!” one of his companions directs at Slit, tone aggrieved, and there's a chorus of agreement and then an individual in a distressingly vibrant lime-green polo lets his voice be heard above the rest in a jeer of,  
  
  
    “There are winners trying to play, here!”  
  
  
    Dag and Slit turn in unison.  
  
  
    “OH, YOU WANT TO GO? WE CAN FUCKING GO!” Slit roars, Dag lunging forward and adding her voice in a blood-curdling screech of,  
  
  
    “THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU, YOU FILTHY TOE-RAG - I WILL RIP YOUR SPINE OUT THROUGH YOUR ARSE AND RUN YOU THROUGH WITH IT! STAY IN YOUR FUCKING LANE!”  
  
  
    “I think we should go,” Nux says faintly, grabbing for the back of Slit's jacket, and Capable nods hurriedly, latching on to Dag's arm and pulling hard, while hastily agreeing,  
  
  
    “I think we really should!”  
  
  
    “Let's call it a night - Slit, you drive,” Nux suggests frantically, tone wavering between panic and concern, and Slit shrugs him off violently, baring his teeth.  
  
  
    “Whatever - 's not worth my time,” he spits, while Dag treats the somewhat cowed group of brightly-dressed youths to another dreadfully rude gesture and then takes Capable's arm nonchalantly and turns away to stride majestically towards the exit, proclaiming in airy modulation,  
  
  
    “They just want to swallow each other whole on the way home.”  
  
  
    Capable just shares a glance with Nux, who is subtly herding Slit the way of the exit as well, although Slit is stalking off in Dag's wake with impressively aggressive swagger, and knows from the sympathetic tilt of Nux' mouth that he also would rather Dag had framed things somewhat differently but is as unwilling as Capable is to refute the actual accuracy of her statement.  
  
  
    That really was what Capable meant in terms of salvaging their evening - as long as she's assured that Slit won't crash the car if they let him behind the wheel however much Dag may grind his gears, Capable would really rather like to catch up on some of the highly important romantic business with which she feels she has fallen sadly behind this evening while devoting the majority of her time to attempting to keep Dag and Slit from property damage and aggravated assault.  
  
  
    After all that, Capable feels like she and Nux absolutely deserve to make their friends mildly uncomfortable as they enjoy the reprieve of the back seat with some light to heavy petting.  
  
  
    One is after all only human, and can only take so much.  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

  
  
  
    “You're a terrible bastard,” Dag informs Slit casually, strolling towards the car, and Capable breathes a slight sigh of relief at this return to conversational rather than confrontational tones.  
  
  
    “Fuck you,” Slit replies cordially, dispelling some of the tension in Nux' shoulders.  
  
  
    “Still - good of you to chip in just now,” Dag allows, and Nux smiles encouragingly at Capable, who quirks her own little moue of surprised approval that an actual effort is being made by their friends with absolutely no prompting from the only two people present in possession of both social graces and all their main faculties, and then Dag sighs regretfully and trills,  
  
  
    “Pity we had to leave, really. I like a nice brawl of a balmy evening.”  
  
  
    Capable's eyes widen in alarm, but providence continues to smile upon their little party in the form of Slit's sole response being a sympathetic sound which appears to indicate that he, too, rather wishes they could have stayed for a nice bust-up.  
  
  
    “Keys?” he inquires of Nux, who fishes them dutifully from his pocket with the hand not settled into the curve of Capable's waist and then tosses them at Slit's casually outstretched palm.  
  
  
    “Got anything decent to drown them out with?” Dag asks while he unlocks the car, eyeing Capable and Nux as they slide into the back as one entity,  
  
  
    “Young love is a wonderful thing and they're both very sweet but I always like those scenes better with a dramatic soundtrack. Squelching is just so pedestrian.”  
  
  
    Capable winces and Nux has the grace to look decently ashamed, but the truth prevents neither of them from buckling in and reacquainting their extremities and lips to the tune of Slit scoffing,  
  
  
    “Decent? I'll fucking give you decent,” followed immediately by the pleasantly harmonious sounds of the engine roaring to life and a crescendo of electric guitars seeping into the cabin.  
  
  
    “Oh,” Dag exclaims, with a wriggle of delight evident in her tone,  
  
  
    “This'll do me.”  
  
  
    Capable gives thanks privately to the Gods for the blessing that is their apparent collective narrow miss with an epic argument regarding musical tastes and applies herself with renewed vigour to Nux' mouth, sliding a hand under his jacket both for anchorage, as they leave the car park and turn onto a road with a decent speed limit, and purely because she can and she likes to when the opportunity presents itself.  
  
  
    In the front, Dag screeches along with guitars and opening vocals both, and Nux cracks an eye open to catch she and Slit banging their heads lustily in time with the entrance of drums into the mix, very responsibly keeping his attention divided between that spectacle and the way Capable is nibbling on various easily-reached portions of him just to make sure that Slit is minding the road with sufficient assiduity.  
  
  
    Satisfied that this is the case, not that he doubted it would be, for Slit is many things but a reckless driver he is not - and who among us doesn't enjoy going along at a brisk pace, local speed limitations permitting? - he quickly reapplies himself to the task at hand, luckily close enough to Capable that he can hear most of her vocalised enjoyment in order to react accordingly despite the musical accompaniment and the impressively accurate yet cacophonous singing of their companions.  
  
  
    One duet soon becomes another, but Nux and Capable are not so lulled by this or befogged by one another that they do not jointly realise that the trip appears to have been cut somewhat shorter than expected when it becomes evident that Slit has thrown the car into park, silenced Judas Priest, and exited the vehicle.  
  
  
    Capable, surfacing first, looks up in bemusement to see Dag dangling the keys in Nux' general direction and smiling vaguely.  
  
  
    “Thanks for a lovely evening,” she says sincerely, as Nux grasps the keys but clearly not yet what is afoot,  
  
  
    “You two can see yourselves home, can't you?”  
  
  
    “Yes, but - Dag, this is your building,” Capable reminds her sister, just in case this had somehow escaped her, which in fairness has happened before in the past, and Nux tumbles out of the car in a daze with Capable's hand still firmly secured wrist-deep under the waistband of his jeans which leave little room for manoeuvring, necessitating her own swift yet not exactly graceful disembarkation.  
  
  
    Dag shimmers out of the car without a backwards glance, trickles in the general direction of Slit who is waiting on the pavement, and then seems to recall that she has been spoken to, and turns to give Capable a sunny, magnanimous smile.  
  
  
    “Yes,” she agrees,  
  
  
    “Nice, isn't it?”  
  
  
    “But - ” Capable utters helplessly, attempting to gesture towards Slit but forgetting inopportunely that her dominant hand remains lodged against Nux' posterior and therefore succeeding only in acquiring a more insistent handful of same and making him yelp in a manner lacking all dignity.  
  
  
    “Slit,” Capable says, extracting her preferred gesturing hand from Nux' lower portions with apologetic tenderness and then flapping it uselessly at Dag to hopefully elicit some explanation,  
  
  
    “Why - ?”  
  
  
    “Yes, well,” Dag trills with an understated shrug and slight reproach in her tone,  
  
  
    “I haven't forgiven you yet for not preparing me better, but you certainly chose well.”  
  
  
    “I what?” Capable expels faintly, and Nux goggles at Dag, whose expression of serene insouciance proves too much for his delicate nerves, and then slides his gaze imploringly to Slit, spluttering,  
  
  
    “Slit - mate, she clocked you!”  
  
  
    “Girl doesn't piss about,” Slit retorts with prompt satisfaction, giving the appearance of a man who can easily overlook a trifling matter like being struck across the face by a young lady under such circumstances when it proves her admirable forthrightness of character.  
  
  
    “You - you want Nux and I to leave?” Capable asks Dag, wanting there to be perfect understanding between them, and Dag nods.  
  
  
    “Yes,” she says simply, and Capable raises her eyebrows to their furthest extent and allows her gaze to trail dubiously from Slit, whose stance indicates casual boredom, to Dag, who is awaiting her sister's response with what appears to be a riveting internal rendition of 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' complete with the customary gestures, and Capable for the sake of absolute clarity asks,  
  
  
    “You want us to leave you here - with Slit?”  
  
  
    “Yes,” Dag says, hands floating aimlessly outwards to her sides again and tone clear and seemingly surprised that Capable insists on such strict adherence to this subject in particular,  
  
  
    “He's terribly pretty and I thought it might be fun.”  
  
  
    “Pretty?” Nux echoes as though the concept is utterly foreign to him, and Capable repeats,  
  
  
    “Fun?” with wrinkled brow and pouted lips, and Dag nods, then looks at Slit with coolly considering eyes before turning back to Capable and chiding her,  
  
  
    “I think you might have warned me, but I'm not complaining.”  
  
  
    “So - you two - ” Capable tries, simply failing to order it in her mind, and Nux blanches abruptly at what is his own realisation and takes hold of Capable's shoulders, steering her towards Dag with a babbled,  
  
  
    “Sounds lovely, hugs and byes, sleep sweet, call you when we get home! Come on, Capable!”  
  
  
    Capable dutifully embraces Dag who drifts into it by a slightly more meandering path than the one by which Nux propels Capable, and Dag coos,  
  
  
    “Thank you for inviting me, happy sleeping, love you both!”  
  
  
    “And you,” Capable manages, thoroughly bemused, and then adds with concern,  
  
  
    “You'll call me if there's anything? You will, won't you?”  
  
  
    “I promise,” Dag vows, leaning over Capable's shoulder to kiss Nux' cheek and then dancing the few swinging steps to where Slit is still waiting, letting Nux pour Capable into the passenger's seat and jump into the driver's seat himself to gun the engine and call,  
  
  
    “Bye!” in a somewhat overwrought tone before he and Capable set off down the road. Dag and Slit wave in tandem at their hurried departure.  
  
  
    “Do you think they'll be safe?” Capable asks him tremulously, twisting around in her seat to watch Dag and Slit in the rear window as they walk into Dag's building,  
  
  
    “Should we go back?”  
  
  
    “I trust them,” Nux says without a shred of conviction, eyes firmly on the road and nowhere near Capable's large, worried pair,  
  
  
    “They'll be fine.”  
  
  
    The reassuring hand he places on her leg provides all the certainty his tone lacks, however, and so Capable settles into her seat properly and takes in the view of the road home.  
  
  
    “I'm sure you're right,” she tells him convincingly, and Nux flashes her a nervous smile.  
  
  
    They drive in pleasant silence for a few moments, and then Capable is compelled to ask,  
  
  
    “Nux... is Slit pretty? I never noticed.”  
  
  
    It is a testament to Nux' expert driving skills that they remain on the road at all, and the only physical manifestation of the distress this line of questioning causes him is that he attempts to shift gears with Capable's knee - a pleasurable if mechanically ineffectual synaptic misfire.  
  
  
    “Maybe to Dag?” he supplies weakly, and Capable nods, contemplatively.  
  
  
    “I'll have to ask her to explain when we talk,” she decides finally, and Nux makes a faint sound of acknowledgment.  
  
  
    “If he is,” Capable muses,  
  
  
    “I'd like to know how to tell. It's so much harder to know with Slit than it is with you.”  
  
  
    “With me?” Nux asks, nonplussed and gaping,  
  
  
    “Am I pretty?”  
  
  
    “Oh, yes,” Capable tells him with the air of someone who knows well of what they speak, placing her own hand on his upper thigh and giving it an affectionate squeeze,  
  
     
    “Everyone can tell. I'll show you when we get home.”  
  
  
    “Lovely,” Nux gasps,  
  
  
    “Glory be.”  
  
  
    “It will be,” Capable agrees contentedly,  
  
  
   “I think we deserve it after handling everything so well.”  
  
  
    “Yes,” Nux swallows,  
  
  
    “You handle everything well, Capable. Always.”  
  
  
    “That's sweet of you to say,” she coos,  
  
  
    “So do you.”  
  
  
    “I'll try my best!” Nux manages, and Capable beams.  
  
  
    “I'm looking forward to it!”  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

  
  
  
  
    It would be incorrect to say that Capable and Nux neglected to conduct themselves with sufficient thought and concern for the wellbeing of Dag and Slit in the hours that followed, but it would also be incorrect to say that this remained at the forefront of their minds. Not for lack of same, but rather due to the need for it to give way to more pressing matters after so stressful an evening.  
  
  
    What this comes to is that Capable is unconscious, not unreasonably given the lateness of the hour, atop an equally supine and somnolent Nux, their prolonged and shared exertions having finally bested them, when the call comes.  
  
  
    This explains why, despite the shrillness of the ringing seeking her attention and the disquieted feelings of earlier, it is several moments before Capable is sufficiently roused to attempt to answer the phone, let alone find it.  
  
  
    “Dag?” she mumbles at last, hazy and reeling somewhat,  
  
  
    “Are you okay?”  
  
  
    Dag sounds neither groggy with interrupted slumber nor as if in any state of heightened affect which might give rise to alarm. In fact, she sounds her absolute self, her tone suggesting perhaps even greater halcyon tranquillity than usual.  
  
  
    “Indubitably,” she sighs, meandering on in her serene way to,  
  
  
    “How do we feel about brunch tomorrow?”  
  
  
    “Brunch?” Capable echoes in utter befuddlement, looking to Nux for assistance which is not forthcoming due to his insistently sleeping state, requiring comfort and clarification,  
  
  
    “You're calling about brunch? Tomorrow? It's the middle of the night!”  
  
  
    “Hmmmm. Yes. I'm rather in the mood for it. Thought I'd best call early,” Dag breathes, apparently in the throes of contentment so transcendent that time - that pointless artificial construct - has ceased to matter.  
  
  
    “Dag... It's five in the morning,” Capable appeals weakly, pressing her hand over her eyes and laying her unoccupied cheek against Nux' chest in a bid for spiritual solace.  
  
  
    “Oh, good,” Dag replies with a sort of detached jubilation,  
  
  
    “So you haven't made other plans yet.”  
  
  
    “No, sweetheart,” Capable tells her with as much encouragement and kindness as she can force through the broken exhaustion of her voice,  
  
  
    “We were sleeping.”  
  
  
    “You did look tired when you left,” Dag recalls vaguely, then makes a happy little noise and suggests,  
  
  
    “Brunch will help.”  
  
  
    “Dag,” Capable begins with painful patience,  
  
  
    “Is Slit still there?”  
  
  
    “Oh! Yes,” Dag exclaims, elated, then hums a little and finally, distractedly, murmurs,  
  
  
    “Thanks again.”  
  
  
    “And you're both fine?” Capable asks seriously,  
  
  
    “And you're asking Nux and I to brunch tomorrow?”  
  
  
    “Yes, yes, yes,” Dag trills,  
  
  
    “That's four!”  
  
  
    “Alright,” Capable mumbles into Nux' sleep-warmed skin, defeated,  
  
  
    “It sounds lovely. We'd be happy to.”  
  
  
    “Oh, good,” Dag sighs, and then after a moment's silence, adds the afterthought,  
  
  
    “You'll have to excuse me, it's late and I've just come. Sweet dreams, both.”  
  
  
    “You wha - !” Capable's aghast squawk is interrupted by Dag hanging up, and the phone slides from her nerveless fingers as she stares unblinkingly into the depths of the V8 engine scored into Nux' chest.  
  
  
    Once recovered, Capable fishes the phone out from under her coverlet and replaces it on her nightstand, settling back against the pleasant firmness of Nux and arranging his arm comfortably around herself, causing nothing more than a slight stirring and a deep sigh from her beloved.  
  
  
    “We did a good thing,” she murmurs happily into the kiss she places on his neck,  
  
  
    “We're good people.”  
  
  
    “'S nice...” Nux mumbles drowsily, and Capable smiles and agrees,  
  
  
    “Very much so, love.”  
  
  
    “Love you too...” is the hazy response, clearly in no way an indicator of true consciousness, and this automatic response of ingrained adoration is enough to lull Capable into renewed slumber of her own.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
